Motherly Murmurs

I attend a music class every Wednesday morning for my little munchkin. It’s loads of fun for us both. It means interaction for him: stimulus through music and movement as well as interaction with others (even if it be seeing how another child responds when a tambourine is thrown at them by another class member) . Of course for me I get to assess my parenting: seeing how others do parenting and learn from them. I personally prefer this method of learning than being told what to do.

Yesterday at “Wiggle Worms” I was surprised to learn, yet again, how similarly different parenting is. I use this oxymoron because although “every star is different and so is every child” there are so many instances that connect parents particularly mothers. My husband can never understand how I can sit on the phone to a friend for almost an hour and talk about the similarities of our situations (her son is only two weeks older than mine) and not be totally bored. Of course I respond with one of my mother’s many notable quotables: bored people are boring. This sidesteps an attempt to explain the unexplainable. I don’t know why we can talk for hours about our everyday experiences as if it’s the latest must- see movie. It’s just what connects us mothers and also convinces us that we’re either doing a great job  in comparison to others or not enough.

The topic of yesterday’s “mothering murmurs” was how Dads mostly get the no nonsense, go to sleep monsters and we get the winy, wakeful angels.  I remember in my pre-marriage days (yes I can still remember those) a young mother saying that when her husband looked after her kid, the husband could get work done, have a shower, mow the lawn, watch telly, you name it- yet when mummy’s home she’ll be lucky to put her bag down as she enters the door.

The fault does lie with us, doesn’t it? Children know they can use guilt with us whereas they know their fathers know no such thing. That’s a joke. I have a wonderful husband and don’t like to boy banter. (So I do it subtly with jokes. Hehe) The example that was shared at this music class was how the child wakes up constantly when the mother puts her down but when the father comes to town/ nursery, she sleeps. No problem. I know her pain because I have had a similar situation. Fortunately my husband came to the rescue and I could sleep- actually, we all could then. My darling toddler knows somehow that if he just cries one more time there’s a chance with mom, that “she’ll feel bad and give me one last cuddle/ sip of juice/bottle fill. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S EXHAUSTED AND SHE’LL PRACTICALLY DO ANYTHING JUST TO HAVE REST- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ”

Raise your hand all of you who agree. Those who have never experienced this problem, quietly exit this page- no comments are required because we don’t want to know your lack of problem exists. Lastly, lets salute those who do it on their own and don’t have the option of dad saving the day! SALUTE!

2 Responses to “Motherly Murmurs”

  1. Ruby Ruby says:

    So so true Bronwyn. And the husbands always say, “Just be strong! Use your voice of authority”
    Glad to see you posting again.

  2. Kim Kim says:

    Hi Bronwyn
    I am at my wits end trying to find some type of group/meeting with older Mom’s in Cape Town! We are older parents (40′s & 50′s)of an 8mth old boy and because all my friends have much older children, I feel quite isolated sometimes. I would really love to interact with other Mom’s, even if its not from the older generation! Can you advise?

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