WARNING:Not for Those Already Feeling Emotional!
By Bronwyn in Adopting moms, Cape Town Moms Abroad, Expecting Moms, Moms, Stay-at-home moms, Working moms on 03 9th, 2010 | 5 responses
I’m not a tree hugger, a granola chick or one who is one with nature. I do however love being outdoors, I pick up litter even if it’s not mine and cry if the lion attacks one of the little guys no matter how many times my husband says, “but it’s nature”. Sometimes I don’t like nature. Let me explain with a few examples that I have been exposed to over the last little while.
Starting with those a little further down the food chain: my husband has become an avid gardener especially in the large veggie garden at church and my son and I have become avid tag-alongs. We had noticed the bird life in the area, especially so ever since my son makes a hadida sound every time he hears a bird. We noticed these two love-birds, plovers. You could tell these two just adored each other the way they would follow each other around and protect one another from the mini human that kept on wanting to catch up with them, making rather strange noises. The next visit we noticed spring had sprung and they had their own “mini-me” to protect and scurry around. Unfortunately with life and nature as it were, we find the things we want to protect the most are more vulnerable. This mother plover stood vigilantly next to her deceased baby and wouldn’t move. When we came near, it would try distract us away. My heart was so sad for this little thing. I couldn’t help imagining my own response in the loss of my little one.
Then there’s a guy I used to know who lost his daughter in a freak accident. She was four. How do you cope with having a little body running around one day and the next day they’re not there. They’ve left a black hole. How does a mother wake up in the morning and continue on after something like that happens. Surprisingly they have. They seem to be working on this bringing them closer together as a family instead of tearing them apart. Still it must be hard.
I then bumped into a mother who has a cancer suffering son. He’s in hospital in critical condition after being the most active and bright young man. How does a mother deal with that? This women then had the audacity to ask how I was. Who cares about anyone else when you’re going through something so HUGE!?!
These are just a few examples of the “it’s just nature” that I don’t like and wish there was a refresh button where all the hurt and pain could disappear. However, these creatures make me look at my life with my little Rooster and the Husband with a greater perspective of how the world should be, how I should act and how I must care!
Terrible stories, my daughter had such an issue yesterday. I arrived to pick her up from tennis and she ran to me, took my hand and tugged me over to where to squirrels lay dead on the ground. She told a sad story as to how this came to be. Situated next to the tennis courts is an old age home and they had a problem with rats recently and laid out ratex. My daughter told me she had seen the second squirrel running up and down the tree in a frenzy, lay down next to her dead partner, put her arm over him, closed her eyes and died. I’m not too sure if that’s what she saw, but it is certainly what it looked like. Saddest story I have heard recently. Worse yet there are people who bring their dogs there and there are cats in the neighbourhood. Why don’t people think about the consequences of their actions on their environment and the little people who see the aftermath?
I think to lose a child must be one of the hardest things to deal with in life. When you see it happen in nature and in real life, it reminds me of the fragility of it all and to appreciate and be grateful for each moment we have with our children, even when it is really hard.
Thinking of the squirrel issue and death itself, I’ve wondered how to explain to my little toddler when he sees something of that nature. I usually say “oh, look, it’s not alive anymore” but what does that actually mean to him? When he sees a lifeless bird or insect, what does he think? My mother always used to say that children just understand death. I wonder if that’s true?
@Heather, yes loosing a child must be the most heart breaking experience in the the universe. My in-laws lost 2 sons when they were 16 and in other in his 20’s, and yet somehow they are worlds most amazing inspiring and wonderful parents. I am so appreciative to have such strong people in my life. Nothing can replace the loss of a child and if it happened to me I would probably not be half as nice a person as they are.
@Heather, yes loosing a child must be the most heart breaking experience in the the universe. My in-laws lost 2 sons when they were 16 and in other in his 20’s, and yet somehow they are worlds most amazing inspiring and wonderful parents. I am so appreciative to have such strong people in my life. Nothing can replace the loss of a child and if it happened to me I would probably not be half as nice a person as they are.